August of 2010
Five years back I was nothing….nothing at all. Back then, I used to be fancied by many things and those ‘many things’ constituted everything from innate to extrinsic.
Here are a few of reminiscences of a guy who once was I but now hardly an acquaintance.
When He* noticed a guy riding a Bullet, He used to gape at him until the guy turns around the corner.
When his friend came running up to him and whispered to him in a hushed tone, “Buddy I started smoking”. He used to stare at him with awe and reply, “Dai kalakrae po”.
When his friends used to call each other’s ‘Machas and Machis’, He used to ask them, “Does any of you guys know the real meaning of ‘Macha’?” for which He was mocked at.
When He got to know few of his high school friends were consuming alcohol, He used to say, “Dude that is cool!”
When He used to hear rumours of his close friends getting into a relationship, He used to pester them until they acknowledge the same. His immediate next question to them would be, “Will you marry her?” and his friend who used to be ‘Once-upon-a-time-Dumb’ fellow would reply blushing, “Hell Yes”.
Everyone around him was getting established to act like a real man, while he still was there. Trying to resist the change, but in vain. Subsequently He too surrendered.
*He is not I anymore, I’m the new me!
But years after living that kind of life, I have realised everything that has happened gets you nowhere. I have exploited almost everything but with the gender, I am not yet ready to sail in unsure waters. ‘Exploitation’, if you want to know the redefined meaning ask me. You will be enlightened on the same.
When I think about those days, I have always wanted that me back because this me is deteriorated, a spoilt bad guy impersonated by a sophisticated good guy. People I tell you unless you haven’t walked in my shoes, you wouldn’t know how much of a disturbed person I am. I hate to admit this. But eventually I have learnt one thing out of everything that has happened so far, you need to play your cards right else you might be in for some trouble. So, do not try to work out the system instead let it work you out, because if you know what is going to happen next then you are not going to learn anything.
Time has helped me to discover this thing about me, more likely within me. There are two personalities in me, the one who doesn’t know I am me and the other, who doesn’t know the one who doesn’t know I am me , who knows I am me.
Absolve me if you cannot apprehend the above article but I don’t give a hoot about what you think.
Inescapably, I am me!
